Estrogenesis

"Women are complicated things. By turns absurd, giddy, tragic, the reason for living, and a reason to end it all, " a dear friend of mine said to me a few days ago.

Sometimes the hardest thing about being a woman is other women. Picture this: A little girl forbade some treat by her mother, climbs onto her father's knee, charmingly whispers to him, and wins permission. She looks over his shoulder at her mother, and her smile is one of triumph. A teen-age girl blames her best friend for stealing her boyfriend, but doesn't think to blame the boy. A mother-in-law sorrowfully observes the failings of her son's young wife.

As women get older, their motivations become more subtle, even if their methods do not. Rivalry is written in to the very nature of being a woman. Of course, we know this. It's in our bones...we know it. But why? Why do we have such a constant awareness of who is on top--and how to take her place? Women don't choose a leader and follow her blindly; we question all the time. We challenge all the time. And we don't like to follow orders. It's evident even in literature. It's filled with women who compete with each other or who are forced to show they are different. This goes back as far as Cinderella. Cinderella was ousted because she was "prettier" than her step sisters, and further ousted because she won the heart of Prince Charming--even over other more "well-to-do" girls.

In real life, we only have to see the catfights between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie, or Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie--not to mention the uncomfortable attempts by lesser celebrities to outdo one another in drinking, self-exposure, and publicity stunts. So what's a girl to do to beat her nemesis at her own game?

Be the best. All high-achieving women prepare for the position they want and get it on merit. Beating the competition is nothing; being the right person for the job is everything. No wonder, then, that the first call of feminists is for women to be loyal to one another and to cease to compete for the admiration of men. Perhaps the day will come when women put aside their rivalries for good. And perhaps one day lions will become vegetarians.